Bear Community...inclusive still or naw?

I haven't been able to post the last couple of weeks because you know…life. Work has been crazy and taking up most of my time. But I also hit a snag on what to write about. So this break has been very much needed. I have been able to gather my thoughts and really think about what to write about next. When I first thought about starting this blog, it was more just to hone in on my writing skills. But I have always considered myself an open book and really like to have honest conversations. So not only will I still write about my experiences with having fun with friends and all the good times. I also think it is a good idea to start talking about things that might make people feel uncomfortable. Maybe a rant here and there so I don't have to post it on Facebook. I also want to hit on some social issues that I have experienced in life. Maybe open up a conversation to where we can all learn from each other.

For the last year, I have really started getting into listening to podcasts. Currently, I listen to What's the Tea? With Ru Paul and Michelle Visage, Ted Talks, The Read, Gymcastic, and most recently UnBEARable.

The one that I am really into right now is UnBEARable. It's entertaining but they also talk about things that I can definitely relate to. When I first started learning about the bear community, the main thing that I saw was inclusiveness. Being a cheerleader, I always felt that I had to look a certain way and either be super skinny or have muscles and a 6-pack. I remember always being insecure because I had chest hair. I found myself constantly having to shave my face and chest. Ingrown hairs on your chest are a bitch! But I definitely had a lot of insecurities. So when I looked at this community and saw different stories, it made me feel a lot better about myself. It definitely gave me the confidence to accept myself for who I am.

Now I always knew I was attracted to guys who had a few extra pounds (Yasss dad bod), but also I was attracted to hairier guys. I will be the first to tell you that I was definitely the one that was masc4masc. Being from West Texas I thought that would make me be a little more accepted. But as time went on and how people have become more accepting, it has allowed me to break out of that mindset. Yass Queen, Werk, Let's Get Sickening…all the taglines!

So coming to Dallas and experiencing a bear community was definitely refreshing. I have met some amazing guys who have been accepting and welcoming. But, little did I know that even in the bear community there were different groups and labels. You have your leather bears, muscle bears, chubs, cubs, otters, and the list goes on. It's a freaking zoo basically. Don't get me wrong I have definitely labeled myself a Cub because that is where I think I fit in. So definitely guilty of the labels.

What I have found with some interactions is, that if you don't fit the "type" of a so-called label, then probably best to go somewhere else. Now, not everyone is like that, but it has happened. I have been told that I am too skinny to really be a bear and that I need to fatten up. I also try…and try being the keyword…to work out and I have seen some progress, but I have been told on Instagram that I need to put on more muscle to be considered a muscle cub/bear.

Instagram is by far worse than Dallas obviously. Some of the pages you see look like a broken record of white muscle burley men. I truly enjoy the pages that include people of different colors and sizes. It is nice to see people being comfortable and supported for who they are. Some people laugh when they see someone hashtag Body Positivity on their posts. But to me, someone who has had insecurities, makes me believe that these people have accepted or are in the process of accepting themselves.

Now, these comments really don't bother me too much because A. F you B. At the end of the day, I am still going to be me. But it really is one of those things that you try to brush off, but after a while, it can take its toll on you. So my question is…do you see this happening where you are from? Have you had any similar experiences? What are your thoughts on the Bear Community?